Monday, March 28, 2005
Are you using me? For what? I have no money, I give you everything there is inside of me.. for what? the little validation that you give me. I am so angry at you... I want you to do something with your life but it is not for me to decide what. you talk about me growing up... I love you yet I am disappointed in this thing we have... nothing serious. I am tired of it being so not serious.
I am also tired and am growing weaker because of her. I want to be on my own.. I wouldnt mind so much being with you solely if you knew what you wanted to do with your life and I wouldnt have to worry how I would earn enough for two. I can remember a time when I was together with the other one... I wanted to be the one to earn enough, now its different. I want to stay home a little more often. Then you complain that its too demanding... that "god forbid that cell phone is on". I have to earn my money. You talk a good talk.. I want you to love me unconditionally.. much like I do you.. however now there are beginning to be conditions and resentment and damnit I DONT WANT THAT! I resented the other one.. and I am not that person anymore. I don't want to feel this way about you. And I don't want to hurt you by telling you I am feeling like this. It's not about the money.. afterall, its only money and love is more important.
I am also tired and am growing weaker because of her. I want to be on my own.. I wouldnt mind so much being with you solely if you knew what you wanted to do with your life and I wouldnt have to worry how I would earn enough for two. I can remember a time when I was together with the other one... I wanted to be the one to earn enough, now its different. I want to stay home a little more often. Then you complain that its too demanding... that "god forbid that cell phone is on". I have to earn my money. You talk a good talk.. I want you to love me unconditionally.. much like I do you.. however now there are beginning to be conditions and resentment and damnit I DONT WANT THAT! I resented the other one.. and I am not that person anymore. I don't want to feel this way about you. And I don't want to hurt you by telling you I am feeling like this. It's not about the money.. afterall, its only money and love is more important.
