Monday, November 24, 2003
Holidays suck. Burn the Christmas tree, Santa tied to it with a turkey under each arm...up in flames...
I think I am finally allowing the grief to happen. The crying has started to become more cleansing. I say I can't remember, but I do remember...I know about the stuff that no one was there for. I acknowledge the very intitmate moments of our realtionship.
Anxiety washes over me. I am a beached whale in the crevices in my mind.
Medication forced through my veins, clouding my mind, making the feelings subside
for the moment.
Everything in only a moment.
A life can end in a moment--or begin.
My life starting over...and over.
days go by and I can maintain control--loving someone else
for the moment,
having good days and making them matter
Sleep.
I think I am finally allowing the grief to happen. The crying has started to become more cleansing. I say I can't remember, but I do remember...I know about the stuff that no one was there for. I acknowledge the very intitmate moments of our realtionship.
Anxiety washes over me. I am a beached whale in the crevices in my mind.
Medication forced through my veins, clouding my mind, making the feelings subside
for the moment.
Everything in only a moment.
A life can end in a moment--or begin.
My life starting over...and over.
days go by and I can maintain control--loving someone else
for the moment,
having good days and making them matter
Sleep.
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